Welcome to the Weekly Show with Deer Wang.
So, folks. Something completely unprecedented is happening in the Middle East. Saudi Arabia has been making nice with Iran and Syria. There's peace breaking out! And you know who brokered this reconciliation? China. Yeah, now we know that besides making phones, machines, and building bullet trains and highways, China can also bring about world peace! Now, you'd think everyone would be thrilled about this? I mean, who doesn't like peace? It turns out, the U.S. government is not too happy about it.
[News Clip] William Burns, Director of the US Central Intelligence Agency, has reportedly expressed frustration over Riyadh's outreach to Tehran and Damascus.
The CIA boss flew to Saudi Arabia to express their "frustration" over peace? Can you believe it? Like being so obsessed with the mess that when peace comes knocking, he's like, nah, nah, nah, they're good. They've got a sweet little chaos going on here.
But, the big fear for the U.S. isn't just that Saudi Arabia and Iran are rebuilding their relationship. That's just the appetizer. The main course is that they're looking to "compare notes" on their years of terrorist attacks and subversive activities. Just like the kind of stuff we talk about at a high school reunion.
Just picture this. Saudi Arabia finds out that Iran wasn't behind some of the attacks. And Iran realizes that Saudi Arabia didn't cause the oil facility explosion. So, who's been playing puppet master all along, huh?
And, why is it the CIA boss coming to express "frustration"? Cuz the Saudi-Iran negotiations happened in Beijing, where the CIA failed to keep an eye on? He's like that big guy who never lets their friends hang out with anyone else. What if they're having a party without me?!
Ah...No wonder the U.S. has been trying so hard to suppress Huawei, the Chinese tech company. Cuz Saudi Arabia has been using Huawei to get away from the U.S. eavesdropping? And let's not forget about French President Macron visiting China and being all chatty and relaxed, as if he can finally have a conversation without worrying about the U.S. listening in.
While the CIA is dealing with their FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), it seems like the U.S. is in a bit of a pickle here. They can't really complain about peace without sounding like the bad guy. But on the other hand, they're, well, frustrated.
It reminds me of an old saying. With friends like these, who needs enemies? That's a wrap for tonight's show. Catch you next time.
Produced by Xinhua Global Service
